* exposed . lovedozed ~

Listening to: just the same 4 u . dope stars inc
Mood: normal

there's some stuff that needs to be said. now.
and to start out with the basic, the general, the most important thing of this rollercoaster ride: i love you.
and now, keep that in mind and move on :

i know you love me. i know you love me fucking much. i know it's true love. that we both share.
but to answer the question. yes. you're not my number one, i will not sacrifice myself for you, i'm willing to give you away if it comes to that. the reason is simple. i need to hate every single god damn person i know to protect myself. i've lived a life of betrayal, i've been let down so many times in the persons i kept the very closest. that's why i'll never ever get anyone close, never. i hate you too. i need to. i see all the bad sides of you, all the uglyness on your body as well as in your mind. because i have to.
but that hate, that tiny tiny tiny bit of hate doesn't kill the motherfucking huge love i feel towards you, the feeling that i want you here in my arms, hold you close and feel your heart beat against me. no one is my number one. or number two. you've got no number. you're just mine, and i hope that's good enough for you.

i love you, i really love you more than words. you're the only person i've been able to love this much since... since something i'd rather tell you face2face than here.
please remember that. please. cause i may seem careless when i push you away when you try to kiss me. i hate kissing, that's the only reason. it has nothing to do with you. nothing

you're my princess, my darling, my diamond. i lvoe you more than you know cause i love you more than i show.
my life has been filled with misery, and i'm not like anybody you'll ever meet. i'm hard to find out, i got so many different personalities that i use. not because i hide myself, not because i don't wanna be me, but because i protect myself... but when i'm with you... there's no need for protection. you better be fawkin proud now.

i love you.
believe me god fucking dammit, get it into your head that you mean so fawkin much to me.
the only way to understand me, is to understand yourself. show yourself to me, and i'll do the same
you have got n o t h i n g to hide from me <3

because i fell just the same for you ~

* Cliaz . Catt ~